mardi 31 juillet 2007

Message des ressources humaines...

Étant donné que j'entre plus souvent qu'autrement dans la catégorie INSTEAD OF, un gestionnaire de projets vient de m'envoyer ceci au bureau:

*****************

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the normal
conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some
employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer
be tolerated. We do however realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f____ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

55 commentaires:

Anonymous Genny a dit...

Comment je doit exprimer a quel point je trouve ca ridicule ...

Y'on du temsp a perdre a ta job c'est fou .

Je suis convaincue que tu peux relever le defit du moins je l'espere =P

1 août 2007 à 10 h 55  
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On trouve de tout sur internet! même des messages pré-faite des ressources humaines!

2 août 2007 à 10 h 05  
Blogger iBen a dit...

@Genny: C'était plus une joke lol!

@Jonny: Mais c'était bon comme joke :P

3 août 2007 à 07 h 30  
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Haha!!!
Je me vois très bien envoyer ce genre de truc au staff! Mais avec leur niveau d'humour, je serai la "encore plus weird-freak-jamais-vue" au bureau...

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11 avril 2010 à 10 h 10  
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